During a break from notarizing affidavits, dispensing legal advise, etc. and as I was about to take my lunch, Mr. LBC arrived. [I must be really easy to identify because upon reaching my table he immediately handed to me a document pouch as well the papers where I'm supposed to acknowledge receipt. I hate it when that happens. ish. Then again maybe my silver pink-lettered  name plate is to blame:]

Anyway, guess what was delivered? [Nope, madam has not signed it yet. ish again.]

The package came from the Philippine Social Science Council and inside it was an envelope containing my IFP Grant Agreement.

And the first thing I did after the defining moment of opening it? Yep. I took the staple wires out and had them photocopied. The cover letter said read it carefully before signing the Statement of Agreement. So as a fully indoctrinated stabilo/colorful gel pen-dependent reader, I just had to have a copy where I can highlight and scribble and doodle as I read the so-called Terms and Conditions of the Contract. That was how I did it in law school and by gawd, that is still how I bribe my neurons into comprehending now.
So, is the contract pefected? Obviously not because the moolah ain’t with me yet.hehe Neither has it been consummated as I have not signed it. I still have to clarify a few matters before I succumb to it. In the tradition of a typical lawyer, of course.wahaha

Still, the date of delivery is quite remarkable. For I did sign the first Agreement pertaining to my status as then Fellow-elect on 24 July last year. Goosebumps? Nope. Just a little smile.

PS

I got one document down for my visa: NSO Certificate of Live Birth on Security Paper. Yeah, lots to go!

This morning I tried to make heads and tails of all the files I downloaded last night. As far as I can discern, the procedure to follow in acquiring a student visa from the Australian Embassy seems tumultuous. I’m not quite sure if I assessed myself correctly. Because if I did incorrectly, then it’s a series of dominoes tumbling down…down…down. See, there’s a checklist I’m supposed to follow on the basis of such assessment. So far, of the several documents I must obtain, I got zero on my hands.hahaha

Unlike my cohorts who are going to other parts of the first world whose visas may be released in less than a month, the files warned me that it will take at least two (2) months for my visa to be processed. Oh well, no sweat. My program will start sometime in February of 2010 yet.

What I find most interesting in the whole process is the fact that I am required to read up on Australian customs and culture. There’s a whole book on it called “Life in Australia” that is recommended. I have it on my flashdisk and I better comprehend it because I’ll be expected to abide by it.

And I didn’t read anything on having to undergo an interview, so how cool is that. But I have to go through another battery of medical examinations by a panel of accredited doctors. This I don’t particularly like. Good thing I won’t have to take the IELTS again or I’m so going to puke! hahay.

Oh yeah, the ball ain’t rolling yet. It’s not even there to kick!

I used to have a collection of little hardbound books of short stories when I was just a littler girl. I remember one such book to be The Wizard of Oz. I read that book countless times because I just loved Dorothy and her friends. That must have started my fascination with lions. And at that time, I really did believe that there was such a place called Oz! But I didn’t want to go there. Although I remember wanting to be the wizard…yeah, I know. I was already showing my despotic tendencies even then.
Now, yesterday afternoon, while I was at the new RCBC branch here, I received a call. Ma’am Dada informed me that they have received my Grant Agreement and my Letter of Admission to the University of Melbourne for a Master of Laws program. She also told me that I should begin collecting the documents and other requirements for my visa application. And that I have to have another executive checkup! Which includes a test for HIV!!

My friends know, more or less, the limbo I’ve been through before that call. Finally, a decision that is acceptable to both my sponsor and myself was made. And I am about to become Dorothy.

I have long since lost that book as I have lost a lot over the years. My memory of that story is also quite blurry now. But I chose not to google it before writing this note to keep it real. Maybe I’ll take a page from Dorothy’s book by opening myself more to this opportunity and be a tad more adventurous. Another page from Lion for was it not courage that he wanted? Maybe I will find my purpose there and be more definitive in my plans. Yet another page from the Tin Woodman, but do I really want to find my heart? And shouldn’t I reap a whole chapter from Scarecrow first to get a brain?! Beacuse I sure hope to graduate a wizard!hah

By the way, I’m the one equating Oz with Australia. Like I mentioned earlier, my memory is blurry and this is merely pesudo-allegorical.

Towards the end of 2006, I was already feeling long passed drowning. I felt like I had already sunk so deep into the ocean…and that even then, I was down on bended knees. I had cried myself dry, and I had lost hope of ever surfacing again. I wanted to get out. But it seemed like every time I would try, I would drown even more…

I was desperate for air that I grasped a line I would, under other circumstances, not have touched with a 10-foot pole. But I suppose I needed a certain reassurance…an affirmation that I was still capable of doing something outside of the hole I dug for myself. I knew it was wrong. But I was at a point of losing that which I thought defined me as human that I was willing to take the risk…just so I can take the chance to see myself completely fall…or swim up and at least come afloat. I was willing to brave the circumstances, just so I could feel again.

To a certain extent, I have regretted that choice. Especially when I came to know that my efforts, my sleepless nights, my discomforts, my dedication to seeing to it that my end of the agreement is fulfilled has not been completely appreciated. Especially when I have come to realize that I have been taken advantaged of. And that even to date, I cannot forgive.

I returned home from that experience even more shattered than I was. I did miss the grind from which I came, but I was finding it difficult to pick up the shovel again, so to speak. Because I already knew that it would be my own ditch that I would be digging. Nevertheless, when my boss called me up, asking me to return, I did. I am nothing if not loyal. However, whereas before I was bore down only by the weight of the responsibilities of my work, this time guilt was playing havoc in my sub-conscious. I had let myself down. And I could not take it.

I wanted to cry, but the tears had long dried up. I was angry beacuse I felt I was let down. But I blamed myself more for being naive. I should have listened to my gut. When I disappeared that morning, I shouldn’t have returned. But like I stated awhile ago, I am nothing if not loyal. I could not break a commitment. Somebody else breaking his is not a slice off my conscience! But I learned a valuable lesson, tho.

I turned to prayers to show me the way. I looked for my old journals to re-discover myself. I did not want to be distracted by my restlessness to the point that I will again be influenced to take missteps. And I started to pursue the goals I had set for myself when I envisioned them for their own sake, and not because of something else. Lest I sound too righteous, I would admit that I was fundamentally motivated by flying away from where I was.

Out of the many avenues I thought about tracking, I seriously considered three. One was for a GOCC; another was for a career as a diplomat; and the third was for an opportunity for further studies. For each of these I’ve had to go to Manila. A week before the deadline on 30 Oct. 2007, I decided to take the chance on the fellowship. Sometime in Nov. of last year, I went to Manila to take the MAT.  Then the following month, I returned to Manila. This time to take a 3-day written exams covering topics like you wouldn’t believe!   

The windfalls starting coming May of this year when I was shortlisted for the fellowship. Only a few friends knew about it. I was even disappointed with a friend who I had earlier told I wanted to meet in Manila when I get there. She was in an excursion at that time and was not even available through text. But my family and friends from Zambo, especially Darlene and Annie and their hubs more than made up for my need for reassurances, especially because I was also confronting my "UP" issues for the first time. Needless to say, I got through the panel interview without passing out, and it was Annie’s call on my way to the airport that provided me closure for that incident. I may have sounded tired on the phone, as I was still too sick at that time, but I truly appreciated the gesture.

I turned thirty last July. And may I say, I turned thirty with a bang! I was talking to Emee on the phone when a delivery guy approached me. As I signed the receipt, I took a peek at the envelop and my heart almost left my chest when I saw the logo. I peeped into the letter inside, and the word "congratulations" jumped out of the haze. Then I went agog and Emee was there to listen to me rave.

The Friday before my birthday, I suppose it was July 25, the GOCC called me up. The panel interview was scheduled for the following Monday, my birthday leave day. I thought, might as well show them what they will be missing. Because I was, and still am, certain that they will be choosing a fraternity associate. I showed up for the interview and even if my suspicion is proved right, I came out of it showing them that, in the words of one of the panelists, I was the most qualified. Whatever.

Last August I returned to Manila to finalize some things in relation to the scholarship. Along the way, I was able to meet people who helped open my eyes to certains realities. And I was able to meet new friends. Most importantly, I regained my spirit. I rediscovered my belief in myself.  And I once again embraced my own capabilities. I could cry again! My mentors in the IFP are helping me realize that this here is not my only possibility…that there is a world out there that I could try and conquer. That maybe, my twenty year plan is right about now unfolding!

As I settle into accomplishing my dossier for my scholarship, I received another call today. When our staff said it was the DFA, I could not for a minute fathom any reason why they would be contacting me. Afterall, eight months had passed since I took the exams that almost caused me a nervous breakdown, were it not for the shoppping malls in the metro. Thinking that somebody from the DFA just wanted to consult on human trafficking or something, I took the call. The caller identified himself as "Buddy" from DFA Manila and he was calling to inform me that I passed the written exams and that I am expected to be in Manila for the oral exams first week of October. I almost dropped the phone. And I only had the wherewithal to reply to him, "Really?!"

As I keep on telling friends, during the rare moments that I turn philosophical, "there is a reason for everything." I am not known for being patient, but I took the opportunity to be. Now, the tide is turning. And I’m driven again. Let’s see which boat I will take and where it will take. Certainly, I aim to go to you-know-where to visit the Queen. And thereafter, who knows?

We started dreaming when we were still little kids. Some of us dreamed of becoming a doctor, an engineer, or an actor. Some of us dreamed what we heard our parents dream for us. Some of us dreamed because our playmates did and we wanted to tell stories about our own dreams. Some of us dreamed as a means of escape from the kind of life we were living. Some of us dreamed simply because we were little kids and we believed that fairy tales come true.

Regardless of how and why we started dreaming, it cannot be ignored that the kind of dreams we imagined as little kids contribute to who and what we become as we grow older. But do we sometimes have to let go of our dreams? Or should we do our damnedest to follow our dreams, at all cost? Should we live our lives, decide for our future, based solely on the dreams we had as little boys and girls, or as starry-eyed adolescents? Do dreams necessarily constitute the future? And when they do not, which do we choose? When is the right time to let go of a dream?

What we believe we really want to become in the future, what we want to make of our life, I think, starts to actually take its shape in high school. After knowing how we would like our future to be, we begin preparing for the kind of life we plan to have. We pay special attention to the subjects we think are related to our dreams, our visions. We begin admiring persons who are prominent in the fields we see ourselves getting involved in after graduation. We collect books, articles, things that are about or connected with them. We burn the proverbial candles to review for the examinations that we have to hurdle, to qualify to study in a college which offers the course designed for our future careers. We burn even more candles to at least pass all our subjects because we intend to be on top of our classes…because being on top means being more qualified, means better job opportunities, means a better start for a lucrative career, means the fulfillment of our dreams. Blah…blah…blah…

However, sometimes by twist of fate, we realize that things have changed. Somewhere along the way, while we were busy reaching for our stars, we changed. We realize that what we have spent more than half of our lives aiming for are not anymore who we want to be, much less who we are. Our interests and desires have actually changed…or evolved into something different from what we had wanted. Our dreams do not anymore hold true, but have been reduced to mere parts of our pasts. They may even have only been fragments of our imaginations.

It would be sad enough if we realize all these only after spending the greater parts of our lives chasing after those childhood dreams. But it would be even more unfortunate if we realize all these, only to find out we have neglected to develop the talents, skills, or interests which would have made up our true beings. Or worst, if we come to this stage too late.

If we still have time, do we continue reaching for that childhood star and forget..suppress..who we presently are, after all we have already invested much of our lives doing so? Should we instead give up on those dreams and start another, this time based on who we have developed into?

And if we discover our true essence too late in time, do we just surrender who we are to circumstances? Do we take solace in the knowledge that, at least, we found ourselves? Or should we do something about it, just the same?

In fine, are we our childhood dreams, or are we who we at present?

[I wrote this on 21 April 1998. Now, 10 years later.....]

I was reading exerpts from the transcript of Hillary Clinton’s concession speech, and I can’t help but feel sad.

I don’t know her. I don’t have any stake on her presidential bid. Even if I was sold on her campaign, my support would not have translated into a vote, for we do not share the same citizenship. But what we have in common is something both biological and universal.

Had I been an American and a Democrat, would I have chosen Clinton over Obama? I think yes. Why? Because in her I see a representative of the Women Sector–and all that that means, entails, embodies through the centuries. And because for me, the knife that defines gender-based issues cuts way deeper than that of the races. 

Now, just because I am not an American, doesn’t mean I cannot sympathize with a fellow woman being’s plight, right. I am sad beacuse, you know, if somebody like her who has had the advantages of education, political machinery and experience, and money has not been able to even reach the final round, how then will the differently situated fare? Are women bound to just keep on trying…trying…trying…?

Hillary herself best wrapped up the scenario when she said…and here’s an exerpt from an article about the same topic…

"Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it," Clinton said — a reference to the millions of voters who supported her in the primaries.

"The light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time," she said to applause and cheers.

The former first lady who made history with her election to the Senate in 2000 spoke of running for president as both a mother and a daughter. Her weeping 89-year-old mother, Dorothy Rodham, and 28-year old daughter Chelsea stood nearby.

"It would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours," she said. "When you stumble, keep faith. And, when you’re knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on."

The speech offered a telling glimpse into what might have happened had Clinton shed her pantsuit-clad androgyny and presented herself instead as what she was: a female trailblazer, going where no woman in this country had ever gone before.

For weeks I agonized over what to wear, how to act, what to say. I knew that the other candidates would already be professionals. I even got a glimpse of a councilor’s stack of credentials when I submitted mine. I mean, compared to his very thick and well-presented at mukhang pinag-aksayahan di lang ng pera kundi ng time and effort na portfolio, mine was barely half an inch thick at pinasok lang sa isang short transparent folder with slide. Very school project! But that was a few months earlier. Ibang level na ito!

The appointment was for 9 am, pero dahil takot ako ma-late since it was my first ever experience of such kind, wala pa atang 8 am, I was already at the venue. When I arrived, there were already a few others who got there ahead of me. And gara naman ng postura nila. Naka-business attire! Mukha talagang professionals!!!

I chose not to join them. Not because I was being a snub, but because they looked like they were friends and were quite comfortably and loudly talking with one another. I gravitated towards a chair at a corner and sat there, keeping to myself and my still half asleep brain but going on haywire nerves! I clutched my knapsack tightly to my chest, softly rocking myself. Trying to control the shaking limbs.

Then we were all brought inside what was referred to as a holding area. We were instructed to wait for our turn there. And so I  continued playing the waiting game…until someone came in and called out my name. Turn ko na!

Still trying to contain my nerves, I followed the lady who fetched me. She brought me inside another room. As she introduced me to those inside, I was shocked to see five people aknowledge me. They were seated at a long conference table together on the opposite side. I was ushered to take the lone seat facing all of them. I felt like I just lost my breath…bakit ang dami nila?! Puro pa matatanda!!

I took my seat, but continued holding on to my bag. Then they started firing…questions upon questions upon questions! I was mentally screaming for help, already. Why were they torturing me? What did I do wrong? Needless to say, a totally out of context drama was going on in my mind simultaneous to the old folks testing my mettle.  And as I looked at their faces, I felt like crying because none of them was smiling!

When they finally lost their collective breaths (hehehe) winded up, they finally let me go. At kinailangan ko pigilan ang sarili ko from running out of that room screaming bloody murder. I had to muster all the lessons about GMRC that my teachers through four different Catholic schools bombarded us students with in order to maintain my composure, graciously thank all five of them for their time and leave that interrogation hell purgatory room with my remaining dignity intact!

A few months later, I received a call from NEDA directing me to submit my passport…so that my visa can be processed. I had been chosen to be one of the Philippine delegates to the JICA Friendship Programme–Social Development Category.

A month in the Land of the Rising Sun was spectacular. I was the youngest and the only student delegate that time. My parents must have been scared to let me go, but they must have also known that it was bound to be a great opportunity for me. I got to experience my first snow, first ski, first sip of authentic sake, and a whole lot of firsts that even the photographs fail to completely depict.

I had the opportunity to live for a couple of days together with a foster okasan and siblings in a genuine Japanese home, complete with its own altar with fresh offerings for the deceased otosan and his picture looking down upon us! I had a sister for two days!!! I learned how to eat while using sanitized chopsticks…how to properly drink green tea as an unmarried female (you have to turn the cup like so:)…how to ride the shinkansen…how to appreciate the Holy Shrines and Temples in Kyoto, Kobe, Osaka and Nara…how to ride a mountainbike in a high way…how to make a snowball…that music can be a therapy to persons with down syndrome…that Port of Tokyo is completely manmade…that even water can be recycled!

I saw how their government took care of their juvenile delinquents by putting up well-eqipped facilities for them…but I was shocked to see old men in their americanas lying down and sleeping on a piece of cardboard on the subway.

But of all the cities and prefectures in Japan that we visited, I love Hiroshima the most. The Peace Park wrought an emotional upheaval. Seeing remnants of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima during WW-II was so poignant. Imagine this, when the bomb was dropped, a little boy was driving his bike in their frontyard. He was only 6 years old and innocently enjoying his birthday gift. He was kilometers away from ground zero, but his lithe body was blown to smithereens anyway. All that remained was a piece of metal from his bike. NO MORE HIROSHIMA, please.

I was in college when I experienced these. I had to take both my midterm and final exams in March of 1999 during my 4th year in college for these. I had to forego UP Law for these.

Worth it?

It’s been a very draining 48 hours…It’s just the second work day of the week, pero feeling ko, Friday na! YAY!

Kahapon ito nag-umpisa…Of course, if you move within the same circle as me, you’d really wonder why. Eh kasi, di naman ako nag-hearing yesterday morning. But in lieu of that, I was running errands around the ciudad. Foremost of which was getting the present wrapped just so. Hay!

While I was looking around at the stuff in Penhaus and waiting for Mae to finish her artwork…I received a message from an officemate telling me di raw alam ng staff namin how to draft the charge. Well, that perked me up! Lalo na at di pa tapos si Mae!!! Naku!

As soon as possible, I got back to the sasakyan and drove like a crazy turtle [bwahahaha] towards the hall. Hindi nga talaga nya alam! Eh ako rin, di ko alam! Ewan ko paano, but in the end, I figured it out…at nearly 12 noon. A little over an hour before the ‘event’ starts…and I promised my mom I will be back home before 11. Dayum.

Well, we did secure good seats in Marcian. The decor was nice…mukhang ginastusan ang flowers…as usual my so-called "relatives" from the islands not so far away came in their ever-shining-shimmering splendor…beso here, beso there. But around 30 minutes into the whole shindig my mind started drifting…After a while, the sparklers stop being fascinating when the food is right under your nose, pero walang kubyertos!!! hmp!

Maganda naman ang message ng Imam, kaloka lang ng konti kasi as usual, sumegwey sa polygamy. At ang turn ni PVE, hanep! Medyo naawa lang ako sa groom because he looked like he was about to faint…para kasing graded recitation sa Family Code ang dating.hehe

Lethargic, di ba? Of course, I was just warming my seat…waiting impatiently for the couple to be doubly declared enshackled…and of course for the spoon and fork to be delivered! Tick tock tick tock…For some reason, I opened my clutch and looked at my phone…that’s when I noticed the missed calls. From a landline in Manila. 4:30 pm na!!! And I have not confirmed yet!!!! WAAHHH!

And so with soundbytes of a melodramatic lady wailing a love song on the background, I returned the call and confirmed my attendance. Then lo and behold, the waiter arrived armed with the much awaited kubyertos. Naku. Nawala sa poise ang mga kagalang-galang na hadji/a. Hiyah! Dig in kung dig in.

Akalain ko bang mas pagod pala talaga ang umupo lang and own your thoughts! Next time, I’m bringing my Sudoku.

Yey! Uwian na. Pwede nang matulog…sana! Kumusta naman at madami pa pala akong kailangan gawin! Ayun, I went online with the altruistic intention of researching for and thus finalizing that speech I was ranting about yesterday. Only to end up just doing that…rant! Obvious ba na nag-fs lang ako? RAT.

Then I remembered the voluminous case record I brought home. Hearing nga pala ng something kinabukasan…pero mukhang masaya ang sitcom sa Star World…Conflict? Of course not. I chose the sitcom.   :(

Eh not naman functioning intelligently my brain at that time. Hayaan na…At around 12 midnight my mind opened up…gusto na niya mag-work. I took out the laptop and typed away. Of course, before I could really do that, I had to ‘organize’ the documents. Only after I satisfied my own version of ‘filing’ was I actually able to make heads and tails of those sheet upon sheet upon sheet of documents. Akala mo sandali lang yun? Mga one hour din!hehe But I enjoyed it! Dream to kasi maging document specialist. :p  I finished the Resolution around 3 am. I was able to force myself to sleep around 4 am. I woke up around 6 am. Went insanely early to the office because the boss still had to john handcock it.

The DC said I had it easy this morning because somebody else was doing the work. So true! And honestly, this was one morning I cannot exactly recall how I got through. Anyone could have used her pinky to tip me over!

Worst, for the first time in like a ‘lifetime’ I spurned coke! As in!!! Di man lang ako nangalahati sa kaisa-isang bote na binili ko today.

You’d think I’d have an easy afternoon thence. Well, remember the speech? Still hadn’t gotten around to writing it!! And time was of the essence na talaga.

I don’t know where I mustered the wherewithal to write that speech on Good Governance and Integrity, but write it I did. I wanted to call it a day at 3 pm kanina…pero umiikot pa rin utak ko. Also, baka maging menace lang ako sa kalsada.

Pagod na pagod na ako…pero since gumagana pa naman utak ko, when I arrived home, I went online. And this is the high light of my immediately preceding 48 hours: I customized Annie’s profile. YEY!

Then I drove somebody to the port…rested for a while upon arriving back home…and here I am now trying to exhaust my neurons so that I can finally get some sleep!

Di ba, ikaw din, na-drain! Dapat kasi naniwala ka sa title. Ciao. ;)   

I am supposed to write a 15-minute speech about ‘integrity’ for someone. He asked for this favor a month ago…yet up to this very moment, my mind remains blank…I am mentally speechless.hehehe

Seriously, what does ‘integrity’ mean? Is it merely about living by the Code of Ethics? Is it about constantly tipping the scale in favor of what’s good…what’s right? Who defines what’s good and right?  And will ‘integrity’ mean better consequences?

By whose standard is ‘integrity’ rightfully measured?

Does ‘integrity’ still find relevance in contemporary life?

Does ‘integrity’ find application in your own existence?

Last 2nd of May marked my 4th year in the legal profession. Dapat masaya, di ba? Pero just like Grace said, after you pass the bar, everything else seems like downhill. What else daw kasi can top that?

That was a Friday. On any other Friday, I would have been out with friends whining about the travails of the work week just past. However, that day my folks prevailed upon me to allow a hilot reform my back, so I was just at home resting and watching tv. Pretty uneventful and boring, I know…Until I got a call. JB daw was shot earlier that evening! Inside their church…during a service!!!

As a little backgrounder, JB is a fellow lawyer. He’s somebody who seems very soft-spoken and without any mean bone in his body. Our last encounter was in the morning of that same day at the family court. During a recess, JB, myself and a few other colleagues had a conversation about another colleague who had to be airlifted to Manila for medical reasons. At a point, we even joked about being vertically challenged, and them male lawyers wearing orthopedic shoes to augment their height.hehe

Then bam!

JB is not the only member of the IBP-Zambasulta who is presently suffering from one medical condition or another. Sir Dem daw has been undergoing dialysis for sometime now…A month ago, Clarence was diagnosed with aneurysm…XO is under maintenance medication for his heart ailment as a lot of others are, I suppose…And then there was that consummated assassination of a lawyer connected with COA sometime last year. AMONG OTHERS.

Earlier this year, I was teasing Ma’am Andy about our office being a sad place to work in. Kasi nga, si XO has been ‘computing’ his retirement benefits for sometime now. And the amount he expects to receive will certainly not build him a mansion! Eh he’s been with our office for what to me seemed like forever, and I just can’t believe na yun lang matatanggap nya after a lifetime of public service!  Parang unfair to the highest level…at sad!

And then si Clarence, who is only a few years older than me, and who is engaged in private pratice hence appears to be living a less toxic professional life than we in the justice league do, had aneurysm! Kumusta naman yun?!

At ang lagay pa, between XO’s heart and Clarence’s brain lies the threat of the gun. As in, kung hindi ka madadale ng sakit sa puso or ng pagsabog ng ugat sa utak, maaaring may nag-aabang para tambangan ka. A place of worship cannot even provide you sanctuary from such evil design, as you’d hope?!

Ngayon, parang nakakakilabot maging abogado, right? Ano ba itong pinasok ko?

But I certainly don’t regret having chosen this path. I just can’t help but feel worried, that’s all. Afterall, my friends and I are in this profession. HIndi rin naman biro ang pinagdaanan namin before we were able to acquire our respective roll numbers.

Last 2nd of May marked my 4th year in the legal profession. Mine, John’s and Ellen’s. We each have come a long way…Personally, I can say that my eyes are seeing much widely now…hopefully, my mind too.

I especially realize that when my professor in Legal Ethics taught us that the "legal profession is a privilege," he did not just mean that it is not a right. He meant that it comes with peculiar consequences.

Pili ka na lang…